Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Reason I'm Here


The Reason I’m Here
New York is a great place; I can see why so many people love it. In fact, a month into my life here and I’m starting to really like it. However, I didn’t just move to NYC for the adventure. I came here with a specific purpose: to complete a 5-month internship with the United Nations Development Program (UNDP) that will hopefully teach me things, give me relevant work experience, and look great on my resume so I can finally find a job and kick start my career. I want my line of work to be internationally focused, be empowering to others and myself, and hopefully make even the tiniest difference in any field (gender, democracy, Latin America, development, peace, education, IDP, refugees…). So I am here, ready to learn and anxious to see where this will lead me next.
The UN has a mixed reputation, to say the least, but I find it to be an organization that, at its very essence, is trying to make the world a bit less chaotic through international cooperation/coordination. True, it is a lot of talking, diplomacy, bureaucracy, and its efficiency/effectiveness has been questioned. Yet, it encompasses the whole world -in one building -and allows for discussion and negotiation. That is pretty amazing to me. Many  (read: USA) see it as a “world government” trying to impose on sovereignty, or an “old boys club” but I disagree. For better or worse, the UN is not any kind of government at all; it simply attempts to facilitate and reach agreement on how to deal with global problems so large and pervasive that we (governments, communities, individuals) are all affected by, but cannot tackle alone: It’s not possible to mitigate climate change if one country is completely ‘green’ but others are burning fossil fuels like there’s no tomorrow; or end the HIV/AIDS epidemic if one country doesn’t have the resources to educate, raise awareness, and treat, but another does; or limit and regulate the trading of weapons if one country alone can covertly supply thousands of violent insurgencies; or even stop narco-trafficking, human trafficking, violence against women, etc. Virtually nothing can be accomplished unilaterally, thus an organization like the UN is necessary to coordinate dialogue and sharing of ideas to find solutions grounded in coordinated cooperation. What I’m saying is, it would awesome to work here!

So, the paragraph above really has nothing to do with what I’m doing, other than the fact that UNDP is a UN agency, and that I get to be a part of a huge organization that I have been studying for years; it is exciting and a little surreal. My job as an intern is to support the UNDP Gender Team. UNDP is the official United Nations “development” agency; meaning they work to reduce poverty, and help the ‘developing world’, well, develop. The  Gender Team is in charge of ensuring a gender perspective is incorporated into all UNDP programs and policies, and I am there to ‘support’ the gender team’s work, specifically in the areas of ‘democratic governance’ and ‘crisis prevention and recovery’. My supervisor does all sorts of things related to publications, giving talks and presentations, editing/reviewing documents, etc. and I help her do all that. So basically I read and read and read; then I edit, analyze, and summarize. And occasionally attend a meeting and discuss.

I am learning a great deal about development, gender and women’s issues, and how large agencies function; but mostly I am learning how much I do not know. Most days I am inspired and motivated to keep supporting the work that will hopefully lead to greater gender equity and a reduction or elimination of violence against women, but other days the rabbit hole seemingly goes on forever and I get a feeling of helplessness, like nothing I do will actually matter. This is yet another emotional rollercoaster I experience on the regular.
The majority of the time, however, I am inspired to be working in gender. I am an empowered woman blessed to have been born into a place and family where I am valued and have not encountered obstacles. Consequently, however, I am so far removed from the realities of the severity and poignancy of gender inequality that it is nearly impossible to understand, let alone relate to. It is because of this, though, that I feel so strongly about wanting to make a difference, a positive contribution. I have had every opportunity to become educated, to become empowered (thanks to my amazing parents and family support) and I believe all should have those opportunities; thus I ought to do what I can in order to facilitate that.

The awareness of how little I actually knew about the state of gender inequality in the world helped me realize how little everyone else must also know, and how this tremendous lack of knowledge truly contributes to the perpetuation of such inequalities, whether subtle or egregious. Across the developing world, girls are killed at birth because they are less valuable; if they make it through infancy they are likely not given education, are subject to physical and sexual abuse, and forced to carry all household responsibilities, many of which place them in greater danger (rape, kidnapping, physical violence when going 3 hours into town to get water, for example); many are forced to marry at unreasonably young ages, and become the property of the husband and family in law; girls who manage to receive an education are often subject to sexual abuse in order to acquire school supplies or books; they are allowed to be beaten, or worse, by their husbands and other men for disobeying or dishonoring the family; and the list continues. These are not isolated incidents used to exaggerate the severity, this is what a large proportion of women and girls live everyday. Everyday. Only by virtue of being born a GIRL.

We live in a patriarchal society where men are at the forefront of everything, all decision-making, all places of power, and women are considered subordinate. What’s worse is that it is so socially accepted that we don’t even realize it, and we even perpetuate the harmful stereotypes (jokes, tv, magazines, movies, etc.). I thought I lived in a fairly equal society, but if you take a good look, where are the women in politics? Why do women still earn significantly less than men? Why are there fewer women CEOs?  There is a multiplicity of answers to these questions, but the fundamental answer is that women are born into a disadvantaged place in society and it is nearly impossible to undo it; at least not without achieving a level of awareness persuasive enough to foment a fundamental change.

It is complicated, convoluted, and at times seemingly futile, but with a heightened awareness of these issues, it is impossible for me not to work towards change. UNDP has a large array of programs dedicated to empowering women, changing societal attitudes, raising awareness, and responding to victims’ needs; I am happy to be a part of such an ambitious organization. I would love to continue this work with UNDP or any of the large number of other organizations focusing on women’s empowerment and gender equity. 

Like I said, I don’t know where this will lead to next, but I am enjoying the journey (and the adventure, of course). Hopefully I can pass on my knowledge to those around me and create a tiny ripple effect of change...

The life of an Intern living in NYC


The life of an Intern living in NYC
New York city is alive, always buzzing. And there is literally always something going on. From the usual bar/club scene to concerts to ‘nerd jeopardy’, comedy nights, story-telling competitions, and even yoga and table tennis championships (what does that even mean?). It’s a fun place, and I’m starting to believe it really is a city unlike any other (although I haven’t spent much time in London or Paris…) and it just might live up to its reputation as the “greatest city in the world.” Of course, it’s also reputed to be one of the most expensive cities in the world, so for an unpaid intern, that makes life a bit more…eccentric. We avoid the $12 bottles of Bud Light, the $40 covers to clubs, and instead seek out ‘Ladies Nights’, open bars, and free comedy shows with free pizza (yes, that really happens). The city knows most of its inhabitants can’t afford to live that way, so there are special times when things are affordable. For example, once a month the Guggenheim Museum has an evening where it is “pay what you wish” instead of the normal $22; people literally paid a dollar to enjoy the Guggenheim. Other museums do this as well and it’s fantastic!

Then there is the subway, it seems pretty inexpensive, but the fare actually went up to $2.50 cents this week (March 2013) making it at the very minimum $5.00 a day ($100/month) and basically costing the same, if not more, than what I spent on gas in San Diego. Annoying, especially since the subway is almost always PACKED. I miss my car. But I don’t know what driving/owning a car in NYC would be like; probably terrible as I see the parking garage rates everyday (exorbitant is an understatement- $7.61+tax for THIRTY minutes!) and the fact that during rush hour there are police/traffic controllers directing traffic due to the amount of cars. That might be far more infuriating than the convenient, 24-hour public transportation.

The city sends me on a rollercoaster of emotions and sensations on a daily basis, which is a good thing since the lack of sunshine in my life these days is rather depressing (it keeps me feeling alive, I guess). Most noticeable (and irksome) are the dramatic changes in temperature (it could very well just be me though, with my crazily inconsistent body temperature). Outside, it will be 34 degrees and windy, making the 2-3 layers, heavy coat, warm scarf, and hasty walk inescapable; but inside the restaurant/office/subway/apartment the temperature is a toasty 70 and all of a sudden I can feel each layer weighing down on me. My brisk 5-block/3-avenue walk home in the evenings inevitably results in a frenzied shedding of layers the minute I walk through my front door and ending in a sigh of relief as I plop onto the couch. Layering up in the mornings is also always a daunting task, as I check the weather and wish and hope that it will be a ‘warm’ 50 degrees (can you believe I think FIFTY degrees is warm now?!). But of course, it is still winter, and I have yet to not be disappointed by the weather report.

The subways, as you can tell from above, also cause many mixed feelings. It’s convenient and cheap-ish, but so packed and hot. Then there are the people on the subway that make you laugh, make you feel uncomfortable, or make you feel downright depressed. The worst is the pregnant lady with a baby in her arms going around begging while her husband follows her playing the accordion; so heart breaking it almost makes me mad that they are so acutely using our emotions. Then you have the rapper or singer who is not always good, but sometimes clever and light hearted. There is also the old man who tells jokes, saying, “I am not a beggar, I am a comedian” and bets people a dollar that he can make them laugh. They always laugh. In a 15-minute subway ride you can feel cold, annoyed, too warm, heartbroken, uncomfortable, and laugh sincerely. Talk about an eventful ride. Such is New York City. 

Ready or not, Here I Come…!


Ready or not, Here I Come…!

Packing up and leaving was hard. And emotional. I probably cried more than I should have, seeing as how I wasn’t going to a remote land in the distance…it’s just New York City! “The greatest city in the world” I kept getting told. For some reason, I was more apprehensive about this than I was about moving to Costa Rica (or was I?). It was probably the prospect of leaving comfort and so much love for unknown... Luckily for me, I have family and a few friends and acquaintances in the city, so I wouldn’t be alone. I also found a great apartment with a friend, and possibilities of part time work. So it wasn’t all that bad! It was all falling into place so perfectly. I had nothing to worry about. But the big city is so scary! Costa Rica was a small place, relaxed, beautiful… it is quite a change from warm, tropical Costa Rica to freezing, high-strung NYC. In the end, I gave my two-week notice at work, purchased a plane ticket, packed my bags (the night before, of course), and left! I did it. Whether I was ready or not, I was on my way to living in the “greatest city in the world”. I would really find out whether this statement proved true or not…
Goodbye SD friends <3

Leaving the sunshine behind...

So I arrived, at 7:35 am on a Tuesday. Rush Hour, my cousin remarked as we took the 1 hour public transportation (subway) commute back to his apartment. It was quite an introduction to the hustle and bustle of this vibrant city. Subway trains jam-packed with people going, well, everywhere. I also had two large, heavy bags, one carry-on bag, a pillow, and a purse. Maneuvering through rush-hour crowds on the subway with all that luggage was, interesting (to say the least). But we made it, sweaty, exhausted, and hungry. My cousin has lived in NYC for several years now, and I’m sure he could navigate the city with his eyes closed (although that would be extremely dangerous with the way people drive here!). So my first couple days were great, as I had a tour guide of sorts. But then I was on my own; naturally, he has a life and things to do.

“Exploring”
I needed to learn how to get around, so I set off. I am, after all, a grown-up who can do things on my own (right?). I had three days of “exploring” time before the start of my full-time internship. Off I went, to yoga, to meet a friend for coffee, to meet a friend for dinner, to go shopping (my San Diego boots, it turned out, were not NYC-puddle proof). And as I should have expected, I spent the majority of my time getting LOST. Inevitably, I walk the wrong direction (is it East or West? Which way is uptown? Downtown?) EVERY TIME. It is quite frustrating. And everyone is always RUNNING. To where? I do not know. It’s not like there isn’t another train arriving in two minutes. Yet, they run. And I found myself start to do it, too. But it was stressing me out. Why the rush? This place is pretty much the antithesis of Costa Rica and all it represents (which I learned to love, after initial frustration at the slowness of all things). So I have made a conscious effort to slow down, be deliberate and thoughtful in my movements (maybe I would get lost less). I relaxed and breathed a little better, but I still get lost. I always manage to turn the wrong way, and people running every which way confuse me further! But I think I’m starting to get the hang of it…or at least I have accepted that I will almost inevitably walk the wrong direction. That is how you learn to get unlost, right?


Settling In
So, time to start work! The reason I came here. I was starting to feel like I was just on vacation, free time abound. That, however, changed when I began my full time internship in an open-plan office with no windows. I have been working since I was 18, but never full time as I was always a student concurrently, so sitting in an office for eight hours was more tiring than I had expected! Of course the first day was mostly administrative, getting my badges/clearances, etc. but I was also given a very long list of documents and publications to read the following week, to be adequately up to date on the work that UNDP Gender Team does. Luckily, my first day was a Friday, so I had the next two days off; win! Most of my previous work experience has consisted of dynamic, interactive jobs (although my formal education has trained me to read, analyze, and research) so the sedentary, brain-intensive life of a UNDP intern was, like I said, far more tiring than I anticipated. By the end of each day that first week, I was so low-energy and mentally sapped that I went straight home. No more blasé meandering for this girl. The numbing temperatures didn’t persuade otherwise.


After my second week, I moved into an apartment with a friend and her roommate; finally my own space! Maybe now I would be more inclined to really get to know the city? Maybe. But then there was a blizzard, and the weather was frightful. Although, for someone who has only experienced snow on intentional vacations TO the snow, snowflakes falling gently from the sky as I went about my business had a certain loveliness to it. The powdery, freshly fallen snow was beautiful on the trees and parks, and snowflakes are much more pleasant than rain! The wind, however, was icy and bone chilling!


Now that I was in my own space, I needed to settle into my new home, which meant lots of shopping; too much, in fact. For a city where shopping is the thing to do, it was surprising to me how few useful stores there were around. I am used to a Target, Ikea, Costco, and mall after mall within 5 miles of each other. Not here! Mostly pricey boutiques, at least in my Upper East Side neighborhood. Another peculiar annoyance: no real grocery stores. What? San Diego has hundreds of farmer’s markets, grocery stores, fresh produce, etc. everywhere. And Costa Rica accustomed me to the weekly fresh produce market, and fresh tropical fruit smoothie stands on every corner. In NYC, things are different. The stores are tiny, exorbitantly priced, and low quality. Then, my roommate introduced me to Fairway. A real, 2-level grocery store with fresh produce as far as the eye could see; I felt like a kid in a candy store, or at Disneyland. Needless to say, we spent more than two hours loading up the cart, and spent far too much money. But I was happy. I love having a fully stocked refrigerator of delicious food and ingredients to make tasty things; it makes me feel cozy and at home. We proceeded to deep clean the refrigerator and cupboards, and make a delectable late-night meal while we drank wine. It was delightful. And I finally started to feel like I was settling in snugly.

Serendipity


Serendipity
Feb 2013

The process started December 2012, when I received email about an interview (for a position I had forgotten I’d applied for!). About a month later, I was offered the position (unpaid, as it were…) and I was faced with the decision to drop everything and pack up and move to the big city…or stay comfortable and content in my hometown. I’ve discovered that the phrase, “I was born ready” is emphatically inapplicable to me. A more apt phrase is more like, “ready or not, here I come” (and I’m usually not ready). However, I have also found that we grow very little by staying in situations and places where we are comfortable; the majority of our personal growth occurs when we step out of that comfort zone and see where the discomfort, the unknown, and the actions those feelings trigger, lead us. As you may already know, I decided that scared and nervous as I might be, the opportunity to intern with the United Nations Development Program was too good to pass up; and perhaps too serendipitous to ignore.

You may or may not know the famous book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (if you don’t, I HIGHLY recommend you go pick it up right now). While I have always been predisposed to “follow my path” per the series of serendipitous events that have led me to this place, Paulo Coelho’s words resonated deeply with me. In fact, they expressed verbatim what I have always felt and believed to be true, but had never been able to put into words; namely, that we all have a path, and while we have choice and free will to follow it or not, if we actively listen and look for those opportunities, it will all fall into place. Call it serendipity, call it God, the universe, or whatever, but if you want something badly enough and it is your “calling” of sorts, it will happen. And this is precisely why I packed up and moved across the country to begin yet another adventure, and hopefully the start of a successful career. If anything, I will grow, refine my goals, and really hone in on my passions. After all, I am young and free of responsibilities, so this is the time to do it, right? It is an investment in my future that thankfully I am able to make, with the love and support of my incredible family and friends (which I am remarkably blessed to have). While I miss home and my support system (family and friends) dearly, I feel that I am in the right place, and thus only good things will come from this. Thanks to everyone who believes in me and supports my unending quest for taking in the world, and hopefully making a positive change.