"How's the job search going?"

I will be honest: I absolutely underestimated how difficult finding a job would be. It has been nothing short of an emotional roller-coaster of extremes; yet also an opportunity to refine my goals, articulate my skills and experience, and concretize what motivates and impassions me. Reflecting on the past couple months of my job search has revealed a cyclical pattern of emotions and mental states:

1.     -Determination-

I am well educated, have great experience, and so much passion I can hardly contain it. I KNOW I’ll find something meaningful and/or relevant, I just have to put in the time to polish my resume and write awesome cover letters. (This phase lasted me about 5 weeks).

2.     -Inspiration and strokes of brilliance-

At this point, my life is like a blank slate: the world is my oyster; I can do anything; I have the freedom to go anywhere; and the possibilities are seemingly endless, because I have so much life ahead that whatever industry I choose now has very little bearing on my future (career-wise). And ideation is on full throttle-especially when I’m trying to fall asleep- constantly tapping into the entrepreneurial mind, creating business ideas or solving problems.

3.     -Disillusionment-

Checking my email EVERY half hour, anxiously awaiting responses (good OR bad) from any of the 50 applications I sent this past month. Slowly realizing most of them won’t even read the cover letter I spent 2 hours perfecting, let alone write me an email. Beginning to question my own qualifications and wonder, “why doesn’t anybody want to hire me?”

4.     -Dejection-

That wave of overwhelmingness finally crashes and I feel like I’m drowning. I’m never going to find a job. I’m never going to pay off my school loans. The job market is awful, capitalism is heinous, and our education system has failed us. I want to curl up into a ball and give up trying to pursue my passions and aspirations of ‘making an impact’. Can I apply for unemployment yet? I may or may not have resorted to browsing Craigslist. But, I keep cooking with turmeric, reading The Onion, and somehow submit more applications.

5.     -Hope and Unbridled excitement-

Every time I see a new position advertised that I feel I would truly love to have, I experience an intoxicating enthusiasm and think is this what all this waiting and frustration has been about? The perfect job for me, which will launch my career, just hadn’t presented itself yet- until now! I should’ve been more patient, trusting, equanimous, GROUNDLESS. I proceed to spend 4 hours tailoring and perfecting my resume, cover letter, writing samples. All hope is restored and I start fantasizing about paying off my credit card and loans, buying a bigger bed, going on trips and vacations, having a savings account again!

6.    -Panic and desperation-

The high from unbridled excitement soon fades when I realize it was probably a far-fetched goal, anyway, and I won’t be hearing back at all. I skip disillusionment and free fall to panic. I’m moving back home tomorrow. Oh, I don’t have money for a plane ticket. I’ll apply for 10 incredibly random craigslist jobs and try not to sound overqualified. Hell, I’ll even work for FREE to get out of my apartment and try to gain some relevant, concrete skills while I play the Waiting Game. Can I give up now?

7.     -Newfound resolve-

No, giving up is not an option. Curling up and crying isn’t helpful. I suck it up and find a way to make some short-term money while I continue the job search. After all, I have applied to so many places recently that a few have to be contacting me soon with news, either good or bad (right?). Maybe even an interview?! I am getting better at narrowing the search and articulating my strengths. Even if it takes longer than planned, it’s not the end of the world. Isn’t there a saying about failure before success? I got this. And I’ve learned some valuable lessons, gained invaluable perspective and done some serious soul-searching that has been incredibly beneficial to my personal development. 

*Sprinkle anger and frustration throughout* (rinse and repeat)

Everyday is different, yet this cycle often repeats itself in miniature throughout my days. Frustration seems to be a constant, though. Frustration at the overall system and world we live in, or frustration at a particular job requirement; frustration at the lack of responses, at starting to feel idle, at running low on money; and mostly, frustration at how badly I WANT to put my education, passion to use yet can’t even get my foot in the door. ALL I need is the chance. The chance to rise to the occasion, to prove myself capable. In the words of a wise friend, I am HUNGRY for a job, a paycheck, stability. Amazingly, I am not frustrated or at all bothered by the incredible amount of uncertainty this job search has created. In fact, that’s one thing I revel in the most: the excitement of so many possibilities! 

“Don’t worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? 

Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous” - Voltaire

Thoreau, the Waiting Game, and a Rant about Our Education System

I am going to be that person and say, “I can’t believe it’s already Halloween! When did that happen??” But seriously. I have now been in New York almost exactly 9 months and it has flown by; yet looking back it feels like I’ve been here forever. Funny how that works. Such is the quandary of an energizer bunny-esque lifestyle…

I divide my time here into two different phases: internship and post-internship. February-June I was essentially slaving away 10+hours a day and still managing to have a social life (I got very little sleep); August and onward my life has been the exact opposite! I have dedicated myself entirely to searching, researching and applying for jobs. But this also means I have a completely unstructured schedule and more flexibility in my free time (I get plenty of sleep these days!). I got to soak up the last bit of summer and have enjoyed the brisk beauty of the fall. =]

A consequence of this drastically different lifestyle is how much time I have to THINK. Analyze. Ponder. Soul-search. Self-reflect. I stay home all day, doing the job thing, applying like a madwoman (incidentally, I’ve gotten really good at writing kickass cover letters). So naturally, I spend most of my time with just me. I feel like Thoreau…in the city. But it has gotten to the point where my mind is going a million miles a minute, my head is spinning, and I can’t make it stop- I was awfully close to insomnia. Yet, I also have spurred this ideation that has led me to learn A LOT about different industries and possibilities, and may have planted the seed for my future plans… It is incredibly overwhelming at times (most days), although I am grateful to finally start piecing together all my knowledge and experiences. For once in my life, I feel ready to take the ‘next step’. Or the ‘real world’ (which has abruptly made its presence felt).

But for now, The Waiting Game. I have applied to a nearly unconscionable number of positions within the past 6 weeks; some I want with every ounce of my being, many I’m genuinely enlivened by, and others I would take for the experience (and, of course, the paycheck). I have not been particularly picky; I have cast the net wide in hopes of landing something meaningful, relevant, and that will contribute to my career aspirations (not that those are entirely clear…). What is positively frustrating, though, is how stagnant the economy still seems to be, ESPECIALLY for "recent graduates." But with so much competition, it is hard to articulate and convey exactly why my EDUCATION and internship experience is pertinent and efficient. Which brings me to my most recent disillusionment and unbridled frustration with our educational infrastructure and the piecemeal education reform discussion.

I won’t get into the philosophical discussion regarding what the purpose of education is, however I will posit that its objective is to enable individuals to make informed decisions in order to make a living and contribute to society. The problem is that “making a living” changes in meaning, but the education system has not adjusted accordingly. Maybe 50 years ago the education system fulfilled its objectives in a society where careers and industries were not as fluid, and choosing a major really did equate to choosing a career path. But today- more than ever-the need for collaboration, transfer and applicability of skills, and development of practical skills calls for a serious reform of an outdated system that no longer provides a majority of students with proper capabilities.

In fact, most “majors” do not provide much practical skills training at all, focusing too heavily on the theoretical aspects and ignoring the applicability of said knowledge. The system still functions from the perspective that studying a specific subject (your ‘major’) for 2-4 years is sufficient for a job in that field; that there is no other knowledge necessary for you to be prepared to enter the workforce. My biggest frustration is how egregiously limited (and theoretical) our secondary education is. Yes, one needs to have mastery in a specific field, but one also needs to be a well-rounded individual with a broad knowledge base and skill set (including soft skills). Critical thinking, emotional and social intelligence, financial/business knowledge, social impact awareness, effective communication, combined with a focus on practical applicability (through mentorship, substantive internships, meaningful classroom projects that relate and directly impact the outside world, etc.) is what a comprehensive education ought to look like. Instead, we have compartmentalized, excessively theory-based education with little focus on practicality, applicability, or soft skills development. 

But the system is currently producing incredibly educated (albeit not very well-rounded) individuals with untapped passion and knowledge in a specific field, yet very few actual practical skills; those are expected to be developed upon obtaining your “first job.” The nefarious twist is that due to the saturation of the market of highly qualified job seekers, experience is absolutely critical. Yet, the ‘millenials’ have not been given such training, nor have they been advised to obtain it themselves prior to graduating. And thus ensues the (unpaid) internship culture that further delays individuals from developing financially stable lives or meaningfully contributing to society (i.e. the fundamental goal of education). 

I personally would have liked to have been exposed to the infinite possibilities of INTERCONNECTEDNESS among fields of study, rather than pigeonholed into isolated disciplines.