Impermanence at its best.

Thanksgiving. Whaat? This means I have been living in New York for nearly a year. And I was supposed to come "just for six months." HA. Who would've thought?

Well it has been quite the adventure and after about 6 weeks of honing my cover letter-writing skills and searching my soul, things are finally starting to feel more...stable, again. Incidentally, when I let go of the anxiety and urgency to complete the mandatory next step in life (i.e. acquiring some high paying job that would be the genesis of an amazing career), life started to make sense again. In other words, I surrendered anew to the idea of groundlessness, impermanence. I stopped trying to impel my will onto the universe, took a deep breath, and just listened.

Maybe it's coincidence, maybe it isn't. All I know is that I'm in a good place again. I feel productive; I am learning more than I could have asked to; I am conscious of my personal and professional growth as it occurs. And I am grateful: Grateful to be in a place where I am surrounded by passionate, intelligent, do-gooders. Grateful that my remarkable family has supported me in figuring it out. And grateful to have friends to keep me from giving up and running away.

Of course, I am more or less back to my energizer-bunny ways, and I no longer have weekends. I am working part time as a tutor for kids taking entrance exams in NYC. They're mostly 4-7 year olds, and they're all AWESOME (mostly). I had forgotten how much I genuinely enjoy working with little kids and how they lift my mood so effortlessly. And then during normal working hours I work at The Relationship Foundation helping to grow it from startup to stable institution. My co-workers are the best and our days are mostly comprised of hilarity; it's truly wonderful to be in a place that is driven primarily by passion.

I find that I am most comfortable when surrounded by people who share my reality; people who want to shape and change the world. I found this at the University for Peace and loved every minute of it. Then I found a similar world at my UNDP internship. And now, because of this job with a nonprofit startup, I have immersed myself in the world of social innovation startups and have been spending my free time going to conferences, networking events, and professional workshops. I found another world to get lost in, and it rocks.

I've become aware from the past few months that everything is a cycle; we won't always be happy, and we won't always be sad. The important thing is understanding, accepting, and allowing ourselves to go through the cycles, otherwise we get stuck in one place and don't move forward. Through my reflection on everything, I've come to gain a greater appreciation for the impermanence that is (my) life and a deeper trust in myself. 

Now, to brave the winter once again (needless to say, I am dreading the glacial months ahead). Good thing I am going home for Christmas! (#road triiiiip). And good thing I've learned to deal with holiday stress so my vacation will be nothing less than AWESOME.

:)