I had to put on pants this morning. And a sweater. Summer
rainstorms are beautiful because they are balmy and refreshing, unburdening the
thick, muggy air. But late September rain? Hello, fall clothes, coffee, and
pumpkin-flavored everything. My tropical blood pines for the muggy embrace of
summer, but here I am living the seasons I had only heard about.
Winter-spring-summer-fall-winter-spring-summer- and now back to fall. Suddenly
a whole year has passed.
Another year bursting with adventures, laughter, love, beginnings,
endings, heartache, experiments, beauty, tears, and growth. Especially growth. This
city is best described as a grind: demanding, exhausting and insane. But you
either let it crush you or you let it sharpen you. I chose the latter. I have
embraced this place for all that it is and experienced the highs and the
soul-crushing lows, but it has all been part of an intense inner journey
to…somewhere I haven’t quite gotten to. Though I feel it’s getting closer. Despite
my acute aversion to failure, I have been consciously living outside of my
comfort zone for quite a while. Maybe too long now. But it has resulted in some
interesting, worthwhile experiences that brought me joy, anxiety, and the full
spectrum of emotions.
My life is not as tumultuous as it was this time last year.
Curiously, I have found certain stability in the often-grating instability; I
have settled into the groove of things. But my questions remain the same a year
later: what’s next? How do I get there? What do I really want? And yet, they
are of a richer quality because I’ve come to realize that they will never be
fully answered. Nor do I want them to be.
I see you, fall. The last one started me on a wild journey
that left me fixated on empathy and emotions; it led me to asking “why” more
frequently, and profoundly reflecting. It has intensified the way I experience
life on a daily basis- I am continually observing the waxing and waning tide of
feelings, accepting them and allowing them to saunter by. This includes stress,
anger and frustration. But also immense gratitude, love, and bliss.
If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s how much it truly is
about the journey and not the destination. The destination doesn’t even matter,
and often things come “full circle,” leaving us in the same place anyway,
only transformed by new experiences and perspectives. And it is a beautiful
thing.
Our cosmic journey continues.
"We are travelers on a cosmic journey;
stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal.
We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.
This is a precious moment.
It is a little parenthesis in eternity."
Unicorns and butterflies, my inspiration to live each day authentically and mindfully <3
<3
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